Mom’s House, Dad’s House

Making Two Homes For Your Child

By Isolina Ricci, Ph.D

“This book is my friend”—Parent

“If you are a divorced or divorcing parent, you need to read it. Even more, your children need you to have read it. And they need you not just to read it when you separate, but to own a copy and keep on using it.”
—Mediation News

This classic guide can help you and your family heal

Often called “the bible”, this is the comprehensive guide parents refer to again and again—before separation, during divorce, after divorce, remarriage, and when blending families. The latest edition of this classic has five more chapters and 100 additional pages including more information on family court, mediation, Parenting Plans, meeting children’s needs, and the pros and cons of two homes. It is a time-tested steadfast friend through the many twists and turns of these family changes–reorganizing family life, defining personal boundaries with the other parent and how to get along, dating, remarriage, a new baby, building family strength, what children need, long-distance parenting, and networks. It’s an excellent companion to The CoParenting Toolkit.

Read Full Reviews

    “This book should be a required textbook for every divorcing parent. If both parents would read even designated portions and have meaningful dialogue, it could result in the substantial reduction of stress in what is very often the most difficult period in one’s life. At the same time it could help avoid or reduce the traumatic effects that divorce usually causes to the children.”
—Michael J. Ostrow, President, American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers

    “For 17 years, I have insisted that hundreds of my clients read and use Mom’s House, Dad’s House, the “Dr. Spock” of joint parenting books. The revised edition is a must-have resource manual.”
—Joel Edelman, lawyer, mediator, counselor, and author, The Tao of Negotiation

    “Specifically geared to meet the needs of today’s parents, this is the definitive hands-on resource for all people dealing with the difficult, often heartbreaking experience of ending an intimate relationship–and the effects it has on their children. Filled with real-life examples, helpful self-tests, and step-by-step guidelines, this book offers compassionate, common-sense advice.”
—Juvenile and Family Court Journal

    “…the new edition is even better than the first – if that is possible. What was a classic has now become one of the defining texts in the field. It is must reading for any parent transiting divorce and any professional who seeks to help them.”
—Family and Conciliation Courts Review

    “This is a wonderful book. In clear and eloquent language, Isolina Ricci charts a constructive course for divorcing parents. The chief benefactors of this modern classic will be the children.”
—Richard Louv, author of Childhood’s Future and The Web of Life

    “In seventeen years of family practice, I’ve given many books to my parent clients, but none helped them heal like Mom’s House, Dad’s House. If you want to strengthen the heart of your family and come out of the divorce process a stronger, wiser and more peaceful parent–this book is your friend.”
—John Kydd, family law attorney and Past President, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts

    “This is an upbeat, wise, eminently practical guide for divorcing parents and the professionals who help them. Highly recommended.”
—Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D., author, Second Chances

    “Mom’s House, Dad’s House is sensible, sensitive, and amazingly comprehensive: an invaluable resource from a pioneer in this field.”
—Riane Eisler, author, The Chalice and the Blade, Sacred Pleasure, The Partnership Way

    “Mom’s House, Dad’s House is a wonderful resource for parents before and after separation, providing guidance about how to maintain their roles as parents so as to minimize the effect of the separation on their children. This book gives parents a roadmap of the problems which can arise, how to resolve them and, indeed, how to avoid them.”
—Justice Donald B. King, California Court of Appeal (Retired)

A Word to Parents from the Author

This is a book of options. The author strongly urges all readers to read the whole book from cover to cover before making any major changes or decisions. Each chapter has an important message, like the piece of a puzzle. Although there are pieces of the puzzle that can be useful by themselves, the overall picture can remain cloudy or even misunderstood. You may not need all the pieces to get an outline of the picture, but you do need to know which pieces you are leaving out and why.

Timing is important. A person torn by regret or anger may not have the heart to read much for a while. But several months later, when faced with myriad decisions about house, children, money, and relating to the other parent, the information in this book becomes an important resource. Most people who have used the methods in this book have found that the rapid changes they experienced during their first two years of separation were eased by reviewing certain basic principles and guidelines. Even after a few years, people report that what they once felt was elementary became more and more profound as their lives unfolded and certain methods took on new value and usefulness. One parent, a writer, said: “This book is my reference manual.”

If you are in the process of ending your marriage now, pay special attention to part 1 and the more specific information in part 2. If you are now dealing with the legal business, part 3 is important. Part 4 covers issues about family, remarriage, dealing with garden-variety complaints, and the years after separation.

The information emphasizes an order and structure for organizing and evaluating circumstances. Expand it, revise it, ignore it, disagree with it. Even your disagreements with an idea can help you focus your own point of view. Separation, most especially when you have children together, requires making many difficult choices. The purpose of this book is to help you evaluate your options and make your choices work for you.

MOM’S HOUSE, DAD’S HOUSE
20 Chapters, 8 Appendices, 381 pages

Part I-Two Homes With No Fighting
Part II-Making Tough Times Work for You
Part III- The Legal Business is Your Business
Part IV-Your Family, Your Future
Part V-References and Resources